2013: Moments that Matter

Well friends, it has been awhile, I suppose that is an understatement. For the last 6 months I have struggled with what to say, how to articulate all that has transpired. Ideas for how to say what is on my heart have circled around the cloud of my mind but lacked any clarity. That is until last night I stumbled on a "Moments that Matter" Competition sponsored by Loyd's Bank and a few really great bloggers mentioned at the bottom of the post. To be honest, I was initially drawn in by the prize, but as the hours ticked on and I couldnt sleep... I realized, it was the motivation, the challenge that was driving me. The inspiration was always there, I just needed a push so thank you bloggers.

I am of the mindset that every moment is transformative... at least in its potential. Most moments come and go from our lives like the waves ebbing and flowing, we dont even take particular notice at the time. It is simply in our minds the passage of time, the way things are. It is often only on reflection that we see that in THAT moment, everything changed, or WE changed. Often as things are unfolding we can not see who we are becoming, only that who we were is no longer there for us... and so it was for me in 2013.

I could pick from a number of moments that mattered, and transformed me and must mention a few. This little blog, my little footprint in the annals of internet "time" fell softly on this page... a friend had pushed me to put myself out there, and I did, never thinking that it would draw any interest and in terms of great followings... there are not that many, but those that do follow matter to me.

I started doing past life readings, it was my way of coping with the daily demands I had on me, the readings were therapeutic as they took me away from my reality into one where there was healing and connection and love that knows no limit of time or space. I never expected the demand. I thought "ha if one person is interested that would be fun"... I still have a waiting list... more about that later.

I became the mommy of 2 guinea pigs. I never had any experience with guinea pigs, and if I had seen them in a pet store would have walked right by them. But when my sister in law asked if we would be interested as her two girls had out grown them, who would have imagined they would come to be such a dynamic and integral part of our lives. A week after having them, I took them to be groomed and one died of shock. I was absolutely devastated. How could I love a little fella so much that I had only known a week. But "Dude" represented something so much more. He wasnt just a guinea pig, but dependent on me. His little friend was so depressed that we had to get him a little friend, so Buddy entered our lives... he is a little mess... but we love him to bits.  We cant imagine life without them... they are free range piggies now.. in our lounge... far more entertaining than telly!!

Dude and Charlie... dear sweet dude is the one with the black face... xx

Charlie and his mini-me Buddy... he still eats his dinner IN the plate!

I joined a Gospel Choir and sung for the first time in public in over 7 years... what a feeling!! Amazing. I still had that passion, that joy, that movement in me... and because of that moment of singing, I was able to see my mom for the first time in 3 years as she flew from the US to see me! WOW! What a moment....

My Mom and I

And all of those moments were defining and life shaping, but they were not THE moment that changed everything.

As some of you reading this may know, in June of 2011 we moved in with my husband's parents to care for his mother full time. She had been diagnosed several years earlier with PSP (Progressive Supraneural Palsy)- imagine Parkinson's but instead of shaking she froze. The life expectancy for the illness is 5-7 years post diagnosis, but when we got there she had had it for 12 years!! My mother in law was a woman of "that" generation. Strong ideas about what it meant to be a mother, a wife, British. Me being a divorced American mother of 2 challenged those ideas after having married her son whom I met on the internet.

I did NOT consider myself the type of person that could handle day to day caring and nursing of anyone, but I found myself gradually stepping into that position. I am the mom that gags at "offensive" smells, squirms at the sight of blood... you get the picture. At least that is who I used to be. As things progressed, *I* was the one who did the tube feeds, toilet time, clothes changes. I resuscitated her twice. Sat in the hospital with her after one of her more gory falls. Who was this "me"?

Throughout all of this time my husband had really been focusing on the psychological nature of this illness and we had made so much progress. Physically she had stabilized. As a matter of fact, it left the doctors scratching their head. How could a woman that was supposed to be dead 7 years ago, be doing ok? Sure she wasnt talking, but she could when she had motivation to.

There comes, however, a point. I was worn down after 2 and a half years of every day being the same stress and demand, the constant vigilance. Any moment she could stop breathing, I didnt even feel I could go to the store, let alone for coffee with my friend.  My husband was struggling as well to face each day. And our kids are home educated so they too, just needed some space from it all. We hadnt had a break in well over a year so in August 2013... we made what we felt (and later proved to be true) was a radical decision. We went away for 5 days.

I set everything up, everything was arranged. My father in law assured us he could handle it. And we had no doubts about that really... he handles everything.. just in his own very unique way. But we felt we had no choice.

So we packed up the piggies and the bird and the kids and away we went. While we were away, we realized we could no longer do things the same way we had been doing them, it was killing us. So we called and everything seemed fine, so we decided to just breathe and allow ourselves to be guided. A better option would present itself, or a different way, or something...

After 5 days we returned to find her sitting alone in the lounge... the tv was on, but never had she seemed so alone. There was a peace that permeated the house, that had been lacking for so long. I felt differently. We spoke and I thought I saw her wiping tears from her eyes when I left the room, but I could have been mistaken. My husband took her to the computer room which over the years had become a therapy room. I went to my beloved sanctuary... the garden shed ( I sigh in relief at the mere thought of it.. I loved that space). From where I was sat, I could hear bits and pieces of his conversation with her, and see him pointing out to the garden, her beloved garden. She had watched the seasons change, framed by the huge window in the computer room. Often she would seem distracted watching the kids or the neighbors cats.

This day there was no EFT or meditations... just a son being with and reflecting with and encouraging his mum.

My father in law went out.

I prepared her for bed and there was silence, and a gentleness. She was a woman of great pride, bordering often on vanity, and the bedtime routine was often one fraught with moments of indignity no matter how much one tries to protect against that, there are things that can not be avoided, but that night, there was only peace. I thought later, that our decision to approach things differently really had made a significant difference!

As sometimes was the case, I couldnt sleep. So I got up and went out to my shed with its lovely carpeted floor and cushions and the neighbor's cat sleeping in the chair... and fell asleep. I was awakened sometime in the darkest part of the night to the sound of someone running through the garden. I sat bolt up. I looked around and thought I saw a flash of someone running in racing gear through the back garden into the neighbors garden which had a fence separating it. I said out loud to myself, "I need to speak to Andrew about running through the garden in the middle of the night... it is not appropriate."

 I went back to sleep and woke up a few hours later, wide awake and full of energy. NOT NORMAL!!!! I am the kind of girl that needs a cup of tea and a shower and nudge to get me going. That morning I had decided I was going to go to the store and get something as soon as it opened (I dont remember what) and I would be back in time to put my mother in law on her feed. Today was going to be the start of a new way of doing things... I was determined. My husband got up went downstairs and checked on his mother and saw she was sleeping peacefully so decided not to wake her, he felt she deserved a lie in.

About 30 minutes later we heard my father in law speaking to her, telling her it was time to get up, and then he called to us and we knew. Everything that followed was a blur.

It goes without saying, that THAT moment changed everything. So often we dont realize we were holding on until we let go. I felt like she had let us go. She had let go of everything she had been holding onto, and in so doing, forced us to let go as well. Everyone commented on how it was a surprise because she had seemed so well, just the day before when her friends had been around. And maybe she was well... but just couldnt BE well here.

We are conditioned to believe certain things about death, and in my opinion those conditionings really reflect our fears of our own mortality and our questions about what exists after "this". I believe my mother in law had made peace with those fears. I would like to believe that our beliefs helped her with that. I mean as a past life reader... my beliefs are a wee bit obvious. In my opinion life for her was really just beginning. It is like they say, for me at least, another door opening. How can there be an end? For if we know in our hearts that we will love someone forever, isnt that a clue that there is such thing as a "forever"... but each person can only know what is true for themselves. And make peace with that truth.

So... in that moment everything stopped. That moment mattered IN that moment. Though the moment seemed to last days, weeks.... there was an emptiness. But it was one as much of potential as it was of loss. The loss wasnt of a person, for we felt her around us, but of purpose. What existed before us was pure potential and possibility. And what exactly does one do with that? Our lives had become defined by feedings and schedules, supervising and delegating the details of keeping another human alive. And now that was gone.

It was clear that my father in law wanted and needed his space so we gave it to him, we started looking for somewhere to move to because we needed our own space to heal. We were guided... to a little town on the coast called so very appropriately Peacehaven. And it has served us well. These last 6 months have been entirely about healing and making peace with what is... we knew when we came here that it was temporary... and so it is... but isnt all of life temporary...

Isnt it so that in its temporary nature... it all matters... every moment matters.

Who knows what the next moment will offer, but I know that it will matter.

I leave with you this... I dont know if I will start back on my readings, I will do if I am guided, but make this moment matter, this connection, this life... celebrate what you are given because it will never pass this way again...

And for Sue... and anyone else that feels the space created when someone transitions through that door... to the other side... I would only say in reference to the song... all good things seem so much sweeter with the thought of how much you would have appreciated it...

I am often reminded of that memory of sitting up in the middle of the night hearing someone running through the garden, I have come to feel that it was Sue... breaking free, running for her life, the athlete that she always imagined herself to be, and now is free to be... GO Sue... a new life where everything you have dreamed of awaits you, because you are free. And so are we...  May the blessings be... always in all ways....

~ Jenn

Thanks to all the bloggers involved in this competition, you each inspire so much... Emma, Jacqui, Away with the Faries, She Might be Loved, Miss Lucy Loves, Oh So Amelia

A Message from the Angels...

My beloved husband has been asking me to open up to offering a channelling from the angels or ascended masters. I of course have been dragging my feet. I suppose that it is my own insecurities, though I have done channellings 1000 times (as essentially that is how the healings and past life readings work)... at least, for me it is as natural as breathing, but it is putting it out there for the whole world to either embrace or reject. I know it isnt personal but there is a feeling of vulnerability. Embracing the vulnerability as I encourage all others to do, I must expect no less from myself! So here goes...

Greetings, beloveds of heart and soul. Today, I Chamuel, would like to share a message. One of hope, peace, love and honor. Honoring of love, unity and the divinity that each of you inherently carries within. By no fault of your own you have been conditioned into believing that you are less than divine. That you are bound by the limitations and fears that have been taught to you over the last couple thousand years. We say unto you, THIS is not your true nature. You are unlimited beings of love, light, creative genius and power.

When you look around and you observe chaos and fear provoking situations... we say unto you... look past that. Look beyond what is being presented. We promise you the truth that love is EVERYWHERE, it is becoming harder and harder to hide from those willing to see. And YES there are many who are trying to keep the truth from you so that you may continue to live in fear. You see when you are afraid, anyone can have power over you. When you are living from the paradigm that you are love and that you are eternal and that all is well... what is there to fear? You can only "lose" what you have never really believed you have had. When you understand that you are everything and everything is you, what is there to lose? It is an impossibility.

Experiences may come and go, but love remains. Everyone is experiencing transition in their lives right now in one form or another... It is the way of growth that in order to be open to receiving one thing we must let go of another. There is what one would describe as a sense of loss, but on another level it is more a case of we have integrated that experience into our being and we are moving from that experience as a platform. The loss of a loved one, a job, a dream, an opportunity, is equally an opening for greater depth of love, pursuing of a passion, dreaming a bigger even better dream, an unimagined possibility showing up as a seeming miracle.

ALL of life seeks to support you, push you, celebrate you, encourage you. ALL of life seeks to draw you back to your original understanding of self. You are an ever expanding expression of God/Source/Creator's experience of itself. You did not come here to play little. You have had lifetimes of experience to prepare you for this moment. No amount of pretending to be small will subdue the urge to shine the light that you are.

You may find yourself asking, "But who am I?" and we say, "You our beloved... who ARENT you?" Not one soul on the earth at this time is anything less than amazing. Every soul is offering an opportunity for love, growth and expansion. There are those witholding their light so that others learn the full capacity of their light. There are those that act in cries for love, so that others may act with boldness in unconditioned love. There are those who act from a place of sleep so that others may awaken. Take not for granted the value and worth of any man. We are living in a time where the truth is coming forth so rapidly.

It is time for ALL men women and children to wake to the truth of their divine nature and live from that. When women remember their divinity, their sacredness, power and the blessing that they are, how will they treat themselves and from that others? When men recall their divine nature, the holiness that flows through them, would they then need others to follow them in order to feel worthy? And our precious children, when they are recognized for the unique individuations of spirit that they are, would we need for them to conform and fit in so that we as adults feel more comfortable? Would you as parents need for them to be your friends so that you felt secure, or would they be free?

If the love you give comes with limits, expectations or conditions, then my beloveds it can not be called love. Love can never abide where fear resides. The time has come to release your fears, and love just because it is what you are, know that you can never truly be alone, and that all can only ever be well.

Things are changing so rapidly that in the coming months and years you will look back on today and not recognize it as anything other than a dream. You are living the echo of your dreams. You are in a state of shaking the sleep from your minds and looking around at the beautiful reality you are creating. One in which you are the powerful creators, operating from love, freedom, joy and ease... where all beings are celebrated for all they have to give... and all is given as a blessing for the purpose of blessing. There is only abundance and peace. You want for all others that their deepest heartfelt desires be fulfilled as you know the universe is ever able to give to all endlessly...

Be blessed my beloveds, walk in the sacred knowledge that you are loved. Feel our wings around you and rest in the knowing that it is already done. You have already "Made it". Your dreams have already come true and are waiting for you to catch up to them. It is here... even if it doesnt feel like it this minute... if you could see yourselves from our position you would be weeping for joy as we are for you. You are forever wrapped in the arms of love.

And so it is and shall ever be.... say I Archangel Chamuel... in love light and eternal bliss....

How it works for me....

I thought it might be a good idea to explain how a reading or clearing works for me. I am aware that the process for all healers is as individual as the healer themselves. Some healers work with crystals, pendulums, reiki, angels, spiritual response... the list is endless and perfect for I feel there is a healer out there for everyone; and IN everyone.

The basic procedure for me is that after I receive a request for healing or a reading, I go into a protective meditative state. I call on the Archangels most aligned with the person's energy or rather those Archangels present themselves to me, or make their presence known.

Many people are aware of the better known  Archangels in the Judeo-Christian tradition; Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, and Metatron. But there are more. Here is a link to some of the Archangels that are more commonly known to me in my work. Each person has a closer connection to one Archangel more than the others. For me, it is Metatron. As a result, he is almost always present in a reading, as a support to myself.

Then I will invite any Ascended masters, guides or angels that wish to work with you. I like this list of Ascended Masters because it is pretty extensive and includes the most familiar guides and some less well known ones. Often, a guide or angel that is very close to you will wish to make themselves known and I will do my best to interpret the name. It can be challenging as you can imagine if they are saying their name with an accent I am unfamiliar with.

Next, I will invite your higherself (HS) to come into the sacred circle created by these beings of love and light. Usually, there is a greeting of some sort, and your higher self has a seat.

Your higherself is that part of you that some refer to as Spirit. Or Unconscious Mind, or Higher Mind. For me it is the higher self. That part of you that records and recalls all aspects of your lifetimes, general themes, lessons, gifts, paths, missions and roles. It can see clearly connections and reasons for relationships both current and past. It knows the eternal potentials both before you and "behind" you. It is a bit different from the soul in that the soul is our perfect individuated expression of God. It is pure love in its nature and being. The higherself is what the soul uses to grow and expand. The higher self takes the life experiences and accumulates data for the soul to use in the knowing of itself. When we transition from this life into another, it is our higherself (spirit) that leaves the form. It is an eternal constant that keeps track of our deepest desires, and where we have been and where we are going... it is that which shows up as intuition, and deja'vu. When we knew someone was going to call or come by... we were 100% in tune with our higherselves.

Each of us can and DO connect with our higherselves on a regular basis... how regular is dependant on our conditioning, our fears and our paths. Many of us were taught NOT to trust ourselves, or God, or that life was scary and out to get us. So we doubt our hearts, we doubt what will bring us joy, we reject happiness for fear we dont deserve it or that it will be taken from us. We live in the past. We say well the last time....  I work with the higherself to see these situations clearly or the patterns around the beliefs and conditionings that can be released so that you can live with a greater sense of connection and peace.

For me it happens a lot like a conversation between friends. I type it out as it comes. It reads a lot like a transcript. It is a blessing for me to be able to sit in the presence of so many beautiful higherselves. There is often just a misunderstanding playing out in our lives now... no matter how painful it so often is... it is so often a call for love. In life there are only two things an all situations and actions and words and beliefs reflect these two options.... pure expressions of love, or calls for love... Pain in our life is always a call for love somewhere.  And we are the only ones capable of both giving and receiving that love.

I look forward to helping as many as I can connect with their higher selves... so what do you have to lose... its free!

As a side note, I do not consider myself a medium or psychic, though I have acted in that modality previously it isnt as comfortable a role for me. However, there are occasions when the role of psychic is key to a person's healing... and we just go with that... but generally... I dont know the winning lottery numbers, or the weather a year from now... it doesnt seem really relavant to healing... unless in the odd occasion it is.  :)

Putting out the "Open" sign... butterflies...

So... deep breath... in... out.... here we go!!! For several years I have been guided to share my gifts and light with a wider audience. Whilst I have encouraged others to shine their light, I have been rather reluctant to BE out there. Fear of rejection? Maybe. Fear of ridicule? Possibly. But these are things I have helped others clear in themselves... so I am throwing myself in the deep end so to speak... and walking the walk... Ta DAH!

I am a healer, intuitive coach/counselor, as well as past life reader. I assist people in connecting with their higher selves, their own soul guides and guidance. I assist others in clearing their conditioned beliefs, and blocks that have kept them from moving forward on their own divine paths.

How, you might ask? Well, I work directly with the Archangels, Ascended Masters, my guides and angels as well as the person that I am working with. In a meditative state, I connect with the person's higherself and there is a conversation regarding what the person wishes to clear.

In my practice, this takes place as the person goes about his/her daily life. Most people have reported minimal disruption of their day, while at the same time experiencing significant shifts in their perceptions.

So there it is.... Ideally, my goal is to assist in awakening as many as possible to their own connection and gifts and talents that we may all uplift, inspire and heal the ALL. I loved the series "Dinotopia", in that they talk about how "one drop raises the ocean." And I feel it is time we FLOOD the earth with truth, love, healing, compassion, understanding, connection. We are all healers, seers, gifted and divinely endowed. We have just forgotten! 

As the blog proceeds, I imagine I will share more about myself, my experiences, my understandings, thoughts and well... duh! I suppose that is what a blog is, afterall!! 

In the meantime, please feel free to contact me for any clearing of blocks, healing, guidance, advice (spiritual or otherwise hehe), or just to say "Hi!" All work I do is based on a donation basis only, but I am more than happy to help you freely for the pure joy of  serving if you feel you need my assistance.

Of course I must state the obvious disclaimer. I am not a certified medical practitioner and all that I offer is in divine service to God/Creator/Source. Please do not take my work for substitution for medical issues in which you need professional care.

Blessings,
Jenn